Baby Protest

 The baby voices outside my window were sweet and innocent. So cute. There wasn't a hint of the power and determination hiding within. It was mid-morning and I'd come home to use the internet and get some writing done. The deadline for my last paper had passed, twice, and I was scrambling to put something intelligible together. 

There is no such thing as privacy in village life. All of my neighbors know when I come and go, the hours I wake and sleep, the visitors I have or don't have. They know if I'm late to work or have stopped home for lunch, usually a cup of tea, in the afternoon. There is no hiding from the babies. They say goodbye to me every morning and are usually the first to greet me when I return.  The babies like to dance, and we'd gotten into a habit of listening to music while I cook in the evening. But this morning, I had one objective: writing. 

I shut the door, closed the curtains and huddled up close to my computer. I'd barely written a few sentences when the tiny voices began. "Mama Soumah, mama Soumah, open the door." I ignored them for a bit, but babies are not easily ignored. I tried reasoning. "I'm working, come back later. I am working hard." That was really as far as my Lingala could stretch. I realized their concept of working was far different from what I appeared to be doing. Work was outside, cooking, sweeping, carrying water. Work was loud with laughter or singing or even yelling. I was inside, quiet, alone. What kind of work could I possibly be doing?

My paper was about Congolese social movements and the legacy of protest. I was busy writing about students calling out the assassination of Lumumba and the university massacre of the 90s. I was immersed in public demands for Mobutu to resign and the masses imploring Kabila to degage. Outside my door, the sweet voices turned indignant. "MAMA SOUMAH." It was clear whatever else they were saying meant, we know you're in there and we're not leaving until you open up. That's when the banging started. Things escalated quickly from there. The rascals started rattling the doors, pounding their fists, shaking the metal window frames. The cries turned into screams. I kept quiet and tried to concentrate. A real live protest was erupting outside my door. What better ambiance?

After what seemed like far too long, one of the mamas showed up to see what all the commotion was about. There was more yelling, threats of violence, babies crying, maybe even some real violence, and then finally...quiet. 

The girls didn't hold it against me, nor I against them. We met for our regular dance-cooking party that evening, and we're still working on boundaries. My paper is finished and I am presenting a summary tonight. Luckily, it will be around midnight my time, the babies should all be sleeping. 

beaute parfait

I don't speak Lingala. It's a pretty essential skill for living in Gemena. I've been taking lessons forever, but it was too easy to mix in some French in Kinshasa. It was fun to think I was making progress there with little phrases and random words. But I was  never under any delusions. I do not speak the language and it is very apparent here. 

Moving someplace where no one understands you is complicated. Isolating. Frustrating. Some days are better, some are just plain bad. A friend told me I should give it 6 months to really get in the groove. Another acquaintance told me six months to learn the language. People say Lingala is easy. Anything is easy once you know how. 

Communication is more than just language. People's expectations often get in the way as well. I am pretty sure my whole life has been complicated with effective communication, but it's taken on new dimensions here. When people are faced with a stranger, they make assumptions that override reality.

When I say Congo Voice, the name of the building where I work, moto taxi driver's hear Congo Airways, because that's what they know and seeing a white woman means travel and expense. When I say batiment Sanguma (building Sanguma, which is what the building where I work is commonly known as) they want to take me to the Sanguma orphanage. White people go to orphanages. After two months in such a small town, they mostly know where I am going now. And those who don't get a lot of chiding from other taxi drivers when they see us turning around. People know everything here.  

Questions are also complicated. If I ask a 'how much' question, the answer doesn't usually come out as a number. It starts with a story. There are a lot of stories, which can be entertaining, but it leads to hanging conversations. Something like, how much is the flour? Leads to...well, the baker said we should buy this brand because it's better quality and when we buy the other brand.......If I am not careful I can get caught up in what the lady down the road said last time we used only X brand and how it affected her sales and then her children were hungry and one of them got sick and is now in the hospital....what were we talking about again? The conversations get layered with one connection after another until I know all about somebody's uncle who crossed the border into Central African Republic. It's only after I've returned to other tasks that I realize I still don't know the price of the flour. 

I've been implementing some strategies, but nothing has proven consistently effective. I tried a new nanny/housekeeper today and although we talked about corn, and made nibbling on the cobb motions, and used the Lingala word for corn, I came home to a vat of fufu made with maize. I guess she couldn't find corn and this seemed like a reasonable substitute. 

It was that kind of day- one communication failure after another. I brought folders over to the medical clinic to help organize the records, which are currently in piles. I'd hoped to get them all into their own folder and maybe eventually into plastic tubs to keep the dust off. I even imagined labelling the tubs A-D and E-H. Such a system could be good. But it would take more than an afternoon- not just to organize but to get the idea across. 

I brought the files, as promised, and was prepared to spend the afternoon putting papers in and labeling with a sharp black marker. Organization can be so satisfying. I'd been promising to come help with this task for weeks. I intended to listen first, to get a good grasp of the current organization method- I know some people can have that messy desk and still pull out exactly what they're looking for. I was not trying to upset a system like that. We couldn't really get to the part where I could take the first step though. Somehow, it just didn't translate. Or maybe they weren't really expecting me to sit down and stuff files. Or maybe they didn't want my help. Or didn't want to complete the task. There are so many possibilities about why we couldn't land at common understanding. I finally left the folders, and the intention, for another day. 

The biggest communication snafu came just hours before that. Since my first trip to Gemena back in September I have been deeply disturbed by this sign. Now that I go by it everyday, it's unbearable.

rond-point sage fils

It is a large billboard on one of the main roads advertising beauty cream- or skin lightening cream- which is a whole conversation of it's own, and has been a controversy in Africa for years. What I hate most about this advertisement is that it depicts a white woman with the title "perfect beauty." I think there might be 4 white women in Gemena. And this board certainly does not show the ideal African beauty. My first response was graffiti, or some creative art overtop of the sign. Being such a small town, however, does not lend well to anonymous defamation of such a public space. I took a more diplomatic approach. I went to the mayor.

He directed me to the Chief of Arts and Culture who suggested I write a letter requesting permission to put up my sign. I have an idea for replacing this board with images of real women from here- two girls, in fact, who are stunning and intelligent and symbolic of the potential for youth and young girls in particular to be the future of Gemena. I wrote a letter, in French, with all the French frills and distinguished salutations and margins that begin to the right of the middle. It was a good letter. I had my Lingala teacher look it over. We added some more fancy French thoughts. He was really impressed with the concept. We were both impressed with the final request.

I brought the masterpiece to the printer, hoping to get the required three copies to deliver, and while I was waiting, there was another French professor there. Everyone got involved in this letter, making corrections and discussing the idea. It all seemed so clear. Get rid of the "beaute parfait" and replace it with the real beauty of Gemena. 

The Chief of Arts and Culture called me with an appointment this morning so he could deliver the official response. No problem, he said. He had a formal permission letter from the mayor himself, complete with all the stamps and signatures. (Actually getting the stamp required two trips, because nothing happens without a little hiccough here.) All that was left was payment. While I was waiting for the receipt (the Chief appears blind in one eye, so he called in someone else to write the receipt, which was printed on red paper and hard to see- we had to step outside into the daylight, only the guy he called didn't really have a steady hand. Every time he put pen to paper, his hand shook so much, he had to call another guy to write the receipt, and there was a lot of discussion about what to put where... which left time for some stories.) Stories turned out to be revealing because I guess no one really paid attention to the part where I wanted to replace the existing advertisement. They thought I was going to put up my own board. Huh. 

I did not have plans for that. So now I am faced with two alternatives. Put up my own board exactly the same height and directly in front of the other board, or appeal directly to the advertiser. With the way my communication skills have been going lately, I am not sure how effective that will be. 

I am also trying to determine the best approach. What could be a win-win situation? Putting their company logo on the board? Not for the cream but just for the distribution house which offers a variety of products. Or maybe just offering to buy the space from them? While I recognized the importance of revisiting the medical filing idea at another time, this is one idea I am not prepared to let go. Maybe I just need to go back to my original solution...I think Gemena is probably pretty quiet around 1 am......

Bidons and buckets

 Water is the source of life. We all know it, but we don't give it much consideration. Until we don't have enough. When water is scarce, it becomes a top priority. Water was one of the first considerations after moving. How to get it, where to keep it, and how to use it wisely. 

Indoor running water is rare, even in Kinshasa. You can find pockets of it, and certainly whole neighborhoods that have access, at least occasionally. But everywhere in Africa the search for water takes effort and time. Gemena is no different. Water can be bought from Regidiso, the national water supply company. Regidiso stations are sprinkled all over the town. People bring their yellow containers - the bidon- to the stations throughout the day. There is an attendant at the well who collects money and monitors the filling of the containers. Bidons are an essential accessory for gathering and storing water. The next level up in water storage involves the large blue or sometimes black plastic barrel placed somewhere inside your house, usually the bathroom. The blue barrel is where you source your water from all day, parceled out in buckets. Buckets for washing dishes, buckets for washing clothes, washing self, flushing the toilet. Whatever you need water for, you're going to need a bucket. 

We're pretty lucky to be located not far from the well, although I am told it can run dry. It takes about 10 bidons to fill our water needs for more or less than a week, depending how many clothes need to be washed or other unexpected events. 

We keep our large blue barrel in the bathroom alongside the sink. I am always perplexed by the intricate bathroom appliances. There is a sink, a toilet, and a fancy shower head- none of it actually working. I have visited a house where it all works, at least occasionally. But I wonder if the set up here ever worked, and who thought there would be running water- or why there isn't running water. All the parts exist in case someone wants to take the next steps. I know it is possible. 

For now, we are on the bucket system and I don't mind it at all. I could make a good case for why everyone should be on the bucket system. It makes water sacred again. It doesn't take long to figure out how much a bucket full of water can do- or a half bucket. It's always better to take less. And it's not as heavy lifting out of the barrel. All the water chores and water needs take on new meaning when you know you're on a ration. 

I often think back to one of my first extended stays in Guinea. We were on the second floor and they kept bringing water every morning. No one ever showed me how to flush a toilet that is not hooked up for automatic flushing. I guess they assumed I knew. It turns out the toilet works perfectly fine if you just fill up the tank manually. For every flush, you need to pour a bucket or a half bucket of water in the tank. This makes you very aware of how often you are flushing and how much water it actually uses. I suspect if people in Europe had to use the manual fill method, water-less toilets would get a lot more attention...and funding. (I sense a series of posts about how, if these problems were affecting other parts of the world, there would be whole new outcomes. From electricity to water to malaria...solutions exist. Access remains inequitable.) 

I see the lines of people, all ages and genders, lined up to get water each morning next to where I sometimes buy my tea. It always feels simultaneously backward and progressive. It's not a hard stretch to imagine this as the future situation across the world. As water becomes more controlled and less available, people will be lining up to buy their share. For many parts of the world, it will take a dramatic adjustment to get used to, but here, it will be business as usual. On most days, I think everyone should move to the bucket and bidon system now. Maybe save the running water for hospitals and schools, or places with high public occupation. But for daily living, in personal houses, there's no reason why everyone can't benefit from being more fully present and aware of their water usage. 

Of course, it all takes time. No more washing machines or dishwashing machines. No more 'touch of a button' lifestyle. I absolutely admit that I can manage most of the adjustments, but finding time to wash clothes on my own would be a super challenge without help. We tend to chalk most of the excess and waste in Western lives up to time- there's no time, it's faster, easier, more efficient. But is it really?

It's merely an exchange of attention. By no longer focusing our attention on how we use our water,  we forget to be sacred with it. But it also means we are focusing attention elsewhere- and this seems like a good place to start. Are the things we've diverted our attention to really more important, or do they just seem that way? What could be more important than water, the source of life?

I am over here missing many things that make life comfortable and enjoyable- one of them going to the gym. Having time to focus on my physical self definitely feels like a luxury. And every time I heft a bucket of water from the large blue barrel I think about how strenuous all the lifting and carrying is. Even though I am on the bucket system, I'm not really on the bucket system. Someone else is carrying my water for me, either pushing it in a cart or making laborious trips back and forth to the well. 

At all times of the day I see women carrying water on their heads. Young boys carry water in that lopsided way, leaning far over to one side and walking fast until they stop, rest a minute, and go the next stretch. I see kids sitting next their pushcarts, relishing a moment in the shade, sometimes playing, sometimes just considering the scenes around them. Collecting water takes energy, community, and intention. 

I'm sure the people I am writing about would be happy to have indoor water. I am not trying to suggest that convenient systems don't contribute to health and happiness. I'm just wondering what the balance between working for water and mindlessly wasting water could look like.  

the way grief comes

Grief comes creeping in on tiny feet
gathering in a low fog across the floor
slowly rising, a mist unseen

After the initial shock
 of ceremonies and rituals
After the painful joy
of memories and moments

Grief comes creeping in on tiny feet
gathering in a low fog across the floor
slowly rising, a mist unseen

After everyone else has moved on
returned to daily tasks 
One day you're baking bread
Or washing dishes

And grief comes creeping in on tiny feet
Rising in a mist around you
Swirls of beauty and sadness
Lost potential
Vacant future

I entertain the grief
of the living
who do not know
what comes after

Blue plastic burns green and other things I shouldn't know

Before covid, Greta Thunberg was making headlines pretty regularly. Once the pandemic took over, all thoughts of climate change and what we could do to save ourselves dissolved into the more immediate concern of how we could save the Western world from suffering. 

I think of Greta a lot these days. I've recently displaced myself to Gemena, a little village town in northern Congo, and am having to learn all new things. The most pressing: cooking on charcoal. I've compiled a list of secret tips for cooking with charcoal, although I am not sure who else will need them. I don't mean the fancy backyard grills lighting up American holidays or summer weekends. I mean the kind of charcoal that comes directly from burnt wood. 

A Google search turned up these images

But my new stove looked like this

My first weeks in Gemena were filled with challenge- a list so long I filled two notebook pages with the many ways Gemena was winning. She really beat me up the first two months. It didn't help that, between navigating water access- both drinking and washing, which don't come from the same source- and food foraging, I was also trying to secure electricity and internet connection to keep my doctorate studies going (under the haze of malaria.) Way too much to handle, especially since I could not figure out how to light the charcoal.  

My goal was one match, one bag and I can definitively say, after weeks of practice and perseverance, I have achieved that goal with consistency. But I still think of Greta often. Because the secret to lighting charcoal in Africa begins with a plastic bag. Before moving here, I was very energy conscious. Very plastic conscious. I had cloth grocery bags even for produce. I stuffed multiple fruits and vegetables into one bag, confusing and annoying the store clerks. I selected my purchases according to packaging and tried to do all the minor things that now seem very insignificant in the face of millions of women lighting thousands of plastic bags every day across the continent. 

While Greta is jetting around the globe in eco-friendly travel,  I'm busy releasing dioxins into the air every night to prepare my evening meal. The small black bags are the most common, but I don't fare well with them. They burn too quickly. Lighting charcoal with black bags is pro-level. I am still at intermediate. The (plastic) water bottles I purchase by the 6-pack come wrapped in the most desirable plastic for burning. It is heavy and thick. It sustains the flame long enough to ignite even the largest pieces of charcoal. The medium sized plastic bags are usually yellow (those seem to disintegrate in seconds) or blue. I have occasional success with the blue bags. The blue plastic burns a bright green and melts into thin rivulets that streak the sides of the charcoal. Once a piece of charcoal has some melted plastic adhered to it, it will burn for awhile. The green of the flame is mesmerizing. 

The thing about lighting charcoal, like most activities of village life, is that it takes total attention. There is no quick turning on the stove and heating up some water while you type a few last sentences of your term paper or tidy up the living room. No, with charcoal, you must sit and be attentive. You must be present. 

Initially, I was able to view this as meditative- a necessary and potentially healing moment in my day- a complete pause to do nothing but....well, burn toxic plastic, which did take away from the truly peaceful aspect. But flames are seductive. And blue bags have the most seductive burn. 

In order to achieve the one match, one bag goal there are a few preliminary steps. You have to choose the right charcoal. A mix of large and small pieces works best. Hollow out a little center area in the middle of your pile, creating a volcano-like dome. Prepare the plastic by holding the bottom, cupping your other hand around the bag and pulling it through. This creates a funnel like shape. It is important for the bag to be condensed enough to hold the flame but not so tight that it smothers out. Everything about fire is like this- a delicate balance between not enough and too much. 

Once the bag has a good shape, tuck it into the volcano. Nestle the charcoal in closer and light the bag. This part seems easy enough, but if you are using matches made in Congo, you can expect that several won't light, or the tips will spark and die out, the wooden stick might splinter, or the scratchy side of the box won't have enough phosphorus. Once you do get flame to bag, the trick is to make sure it catches with a living, growing fire. If the angle is not just right, the plastic will melt rather than catch fire. Melting plastic does not heat up the charcoal. You need the plastic to achieve a long burn with a steady flame. Once this happens, choose small, thin pieces of charcoal to gently place atop the fire . This is similar to a game of Jenga, removing pieces from the bottom to build up  around the top. You want the flame to have direct contact with charcoal. It is completely possible to have a slow steady burn that never actually gets the charcoal going. This is the attentive part. You cannot leave the charcoal to do it's own thing unless you gingerly, lovingly arrange all the pieces. You cannot achieve one match, one bag without proper set-up.

A strong steady burn

After the flame is going, whether green or orange or red, you then have the task of helping it spread. I think the next steps are optional. I imported these techniques from Kinshasa, where everyone is in a hurry. In the village, I don't really see anyone fanning their flames, but it's a tried and true from the city. A good fan will be made of cardboard or a stack of flat paper grouped together. Fanning your charcoal will help the heat spread faster and get you closer to the actual cooking part. It can take awhile to get the hang of fanning, as a technique, because too much oxygen kills the fire. Strong fanning motions can revive a flame that has gone out. It is very satisfying to bring back dying embers. 

After the charcoal is securely burning, you are ready to cook. It is helpful to have all your ingredients and meal plan prepared in advance. You have to think ahead. If you want warm water for bathing, or hot water for drinking tea later, or if you plan to make a two part meal- sauce and rice, for example- you should have everything measured and stirred and ready to go. In the beginning I experimented with two stoves, but that quickly evolved into the two pot method, since there are only two of us eating and we don't need to cook that much. Traditionally, people are preparing large pots of food for big families so they can't fit two pots on one flame. I think I can get a patent on the two-pot method.

One stove, two pots

The trickiest challenge of cooking with charcoal is having no refrigerator to store the food. Maybe not a problem for those large families, but for the two of us, avoiding food waste can be difficult. We have the most success with pizza, with or without cheese. It makes just the right amount for one meal. 

It took a few tries to perfect pizza over the open flame. A google search was helpful in this case. Best tip: cook one side of the dough and then flip, like a big pancake. After you flip, add sauce, cheese if available, and other toppings- like pondu, which is the most widely available vegetable here. Pondu, or manioc leaves, are eaten across Africa, though it goes by many different names and just as many recipes. In Congo it is mostly prepared with red palm oil, garlic, onions and occasionally dried fish or sardines. I've been advocating for pondu pizza since early Kinshasa days and I still believe it has the potential to be a great hit as a healthy snack item. 

My saga learning how to cook with charcoal was long and frustrating. Some evenings, I just couldn't win and my neighbor had to come over and light it for me, or bring some of her charcoal already warm and glowing. One night, a boy popped out from between a bamboo fence in the back. Apparently he'd been watching me struggle and came with a tool. It was a tin can with both ends removed. I didn't really understand how it was supposed to work, but he assured me it would be helpful. I wondered how many nights he'd seen me failing. Or heard me talking to myself, wondering why it was so hard, wondering if we were going to eat that night or not. He might not have been able to understand my English, but surely my body language and tone communicated everything. I was a stranger struggling to master an everyday occurrence. I can cross charcoal off my list for now, but it's a long list and there is much to learn.

African conversations

One of my recent thoughts trailed off... "back when I was American." I was not challenging my passport identification or the legality of it all- I am and must remain, for better or worse, American, though I am not always sure what that means to me. Or what someone who asks is hoping to glean from knowing my country of birth. No, my last thought referred  more to a mindset- back when foreign seemed so undeniably foreign and perhaps even less, though part of me insists that I've been open-minded of others and critical of American traditions all along. What I see now, so thoroughly, is how challenging it is to actually present a real picture of everyday life. The gap is wide. It is a gulf, a literal ocean between us. I am left standing on this shore, looking over, wondering whether I should invest my time in presenting images of a better Congo, a more beautiful and inviting Congo, to counter the war-torn, violent, rapist culture preferred by media or whether I should try to help one put themselves in the real shoes of a person who lives on one meal a day, or gathers their water in buckets every morning, or studies by moonlight because the electricity has gone out...again. 

It is a balance. When celebrating the wins, I realize they are not just wins- they are not comparable wins, because whatever gains your average Congolese makes- from small daily successes to achievements over a lifetime- they've done so by surmounting obstacles every minute. I was just imagining out loud to a friend, "Look at what Africans have accomplished- imagine if there was electricity and water - imagine what Africans could do. They'd be unstoppable." And then we got lost in discussing how the privileged have squandered their haves on a bunch of initiatives that do so little to truly advance humanity. And how perhaps the idea of a continent filled with unstoppable Africans is a truly terrifying and threatening idea for some.

These conversations are balanced with discussions in my classes and with my professors. Two recent exchanges have been replaying in mind for weeks now. One, a discussion around vaccines and how we are managing with the virus over here, was revealing of the distance. Or perhaps it is difference. I shared the idea that most Congolese, dare I say Africans?, are more concerned about malaria than corona. Malaria? Their response came in the form of a question. They hadn't heard (much) about the disease that, in 2019 had 229 million cases and killed 409,000 people, 274,000 of which were children. Like all reports, the numbers are subject to being lower than actual considering those who do not or cannot seek diagnosis or treatment. There exists the suspicion that if malaria were affecting wealthy, white countries, there would have been affordable treatment available to all, oh- kind of like the free vaccine available in the US. Or that malaria would have been wiped out by now, oh- kind of like polio.     

I found myself surprised, and frustrated, that they were unaware of country and capital names, or major issues like malaria. Am I expecting too much of Americans to look across their borders and understand the wider world? Often, I hear Americans discuss the difficulties in their own "backyard" as one reason why they do not look out across the oceans. I see two challenges with this approach. One, many are unable to cite positive examples of programs and initiatives that occur in Europe or elsewhere. It is not just problem focused, but holds potential to be solution focused if one were to examine how other countries manage social and economic issues. Two, other citizens make a point to know what's going on in the world. It seems uniquely American to be so insular as to not have a basic understanding of the names and places important to global politics. And perhaps I am making broad sweeping statements, and you are one of the few who wants to raise their hand and resist. I see you. I know you are there, but in general, Americans are hugely disappointing. 

In another casual discussion I was noting the importance of inter-African collaboration. We'd just completed an amazing workshop with an artist from Mali and Congolese participants (is this a post? There is so much about that experience that needs to be a post.) In my 6 year tour of African countries, the first and most prevalent question I was asked, "What's it like over there, compared to here?" Aside from wondering which is "better," Africans are interested in the details of how other Africans are living. During our closing ceremony, our Malian guest and a Congolese invitee were talking. "You live well here," he remarked. "People eat every day, there is good food. It's not too expensive." Both the listener and I exploded in laughter. As a guest, of course we would not let him go hungry. As a guest, he still hadn't internalized the money system, all the more complex because of the use of both dollars and franc Congolaise. He kept asking, " How much is that in franc cefa?" and the Congolese artists kept asking, "How much in dollars?" 

Many people in Congo do not eat everyday. This is a simple statement, perhaps surprising to some, certainly surprising to my advisor, who turned it back to me in the form of a question. "Do you mean there are some people who really don't eat everyday?" And I could see how far apart we were. Because I don't mean there are some poor, starving children with flies in the corner of their eyes. I mean, there are some men and women who get up and go to work everyday, or who like to sit and have intelligent conversations and make beautiful creations. And sometimes, they don't have enough to eat, or eat properly. So, what is a meal in Congo?

Sometimes a meal is a bag of peanuts and a bag of manioc slices. For some reason, these things go together. A seller will have little plastic bags of each and generally, you buy them both. Sometimes a meal is a small roll of bread or half of a baguette. These can be eaten plain with tea or occasionally smeared with peanut butter, or stuffed with sausage. In the morning, omelets are available also on the street. So, this might the be the only thing eaten in a day, or it might be breakfast. It really depends on the day.

Sometimes a friend might come along with a meal to share or an unexpected visitor might necessitate buying a drink which hadn't been in the program. Evening meals, or midday meals can be anything from a plate of rice and sauce (beans or some kind of greens) to foufou and dried fish or a sauce. Sometimes there isn't. I guess that's the thing. Sometimes people don't eat everyday. And when they do, it certainly isn't a lot. Snacks, in the typical American sense, don't really exist. Peanuts might be a snack. For people who drink, it is common to see peanut sellers offering a small cupful or plastic baggie to accompany the beer. But the idea, so natural to me now, I realize is a far cry from what Americans imagine when they think of a meal, or cupboards stocked with food. It's not really the same at all, and I realized the visual difference in imagining the daily diet during these conversations. 

What I wanted to do was shift the emphasis from people who aren't eating enough, or who view mealtimes as a specific moment to people who consume in excess. Americans eat way more than is necessary- might I even suggest desirable, or healthy. The narrative seems to be about bringing other countries up to this standard rather than getting Americans to see that they are overindulgent. Perhaps that is where there is room to grow. I am not suggesting that there isn't room for improvement- of course I think all people should have access to adequate food every day. 

This is basis of some of Paul Collier's arguments in his book The Bottom Billion... it is not enough to try and build up some of the poorest countries, but that some of the richest countries will also have to build down- reduce their consumption. Citizens of wealthy countries have exaggerated their "needs" and globally, it is necessary for a recalibration. We must reassess what is necessary, what is healthy and what is possible for all to achieve. We absolutely have the resources and capacity to feed all humans. We absolutely have the ability to ensure all people have access to clean water, running water and stable electricity. What we have not done is allocate our global resources in an equitable way. It begins with the perception of who is deserving. Do all humans believe all other humans are deserving of food, water and basic energy? Clearly, despite those who might be quick to say yes, it is not yet an idea that has taken root. 

This stems, in large part, from misconceptions about how these things are achieved. Blame is rampant. Self-righteousness is abundant. Ignorance is vast. Where do the privileges you enjoy come from? And how is that you have gained access while others are barred? Do we each know the answers, the full and deep, complex answers to these questions? Are we even asking these questions? Or do most of us accept our privilege, our food, our water, our comfort in constant electricity as a given right, which has been 'earned' and acquired through individual effort? 

Myth #1: There is no individual. Whatever you think you are creating, achieving, acquiring or developing on your own is a myth. Human beings do not and cannot live in isolation. Everything we gain is the result of an interaction with others or our environment. For every take we assume, someone or something else has given. 

Myth #2: There is no ownership. Whatever you think you have bought, or created, or developed, it is not yours alone. Everything that exists is in connection, influence, or inspiration with someone or something else. You cannot acquire material goods without the help of thousands of others. You cannot own natural items, which live, grow, die and replenish according to their own natural rhythms. Humans are not in control of this. We may influence it, but we are not in charge. Perhaps that is one of the biggest - most fearful- truths to accept. Many humans thrive on a warped sense of control. Imagining we have more control than we actually do is partly a safety measure. It allows for a sense of security and allays fears of an unknown future. 

Myth #3: No one deserves more or less than someone else. All people are born with the same basic needs. As humans, we grow and our needs develop. From sustenance to socioemotional support, humans have common requirements. No one deserves greater access than someone else. 

Myth #4: Our ability to access the requirements of our daily needs does not affect our value as people. We are not more or less important based on the resources available to us. Poverty does not reduce our personhood and wealth does not increase our value as a human. 

These are the African conversations we're engaged in. What are you talking about?

Keep driving

 It was, perhaps, ambitious to think I would be sharing my trip to Muanda in three parts. What I'd really like to do, if this were paper, is draw three bold lines and separate the whole blog into two parts. Or maybe it's not really two parts- I just want to continue telling short stories. I lost my footing for a minute and was trying to find my direction again. But for the moment, while the doctorate research continues and time is ever scarce, probably just telling a few short stories now and then is all I can manage.

The story I want to tell today is about a ride home. Kinshasa always offers up the best transportation stories. I love public transport here- not the wait or the struggle to find it, but the solidarity that comes from being together in a bus. Because the roads are so filled with adventure, a bus ride normally results in some kind of shared experience. 

On this particular evening, I was returning home from the new center in Bandal- surely there will be some stories to come from there. It is already a magical place, evoking memories of early Guinea experiences, a creative, timeless place. The kind of place where life passes sweetly, slowly, but full of energy. The kind of place I do not want to leave. But as darkness falls and the curfew- still in place here in Kinshasa- draws ever nearer- the commute begins. I found easy transport all the way to Kintambo. We were together in a mini-bus traveling through the rush-hour traffic. A group of boisterious young boys in the back  added ambiance. As we pulled over on the main road to allow a passenger to board, a taxi collided with us. The driver had seen the taxi coming and they'd even exchanged some words but, obviously, that was not enough to get the message across. Somehow, we collided anyway. Or rather, plainly put, the taxi drove into us. 

The passengers all erupted into laughter and commentary on the capabilities of the taxi driver. Everyone agreed he was at fault. Our chauffeur didn't seem too upset. He exchanged a few more words with the taxi driver before we drove off. It was really the calmest and quickest exchange after an accident that I have ever seen. No one even got out of their vehicle. 

However, as the next passenger got on, and the recevoir attempted to close the sliding door, the real problem became apparent. The door fell off. He tried everything to return it to it's position- and with some help from the chauffeur they were able to, but every time we stopped to let someone on or off, it fell off the track again, out onto the curb. A huge hunk of rusting yellow metal. Each time, the back of the bus erupted in laughter and commentary. I couldn't help but think about how this situation could have been viewed from a completely different lens- normally from one of frustration, anger, stress. It's not that it wasn't a problem. It's not that it wasn't going to cost money to repair- money the driver likley doesn't have. It was more about not wasting energy on this problem which, having already happened, has only one solution. Keep driving.

Well, the recevoir did try a few solutions- reattaching it at every stop. He was hanging off the edge of the open doorway with his arm looped through when we picked up speed and the door fell off. Lucky for his strength that he didn't drop the door, drop himself or lose the one of the parts altogther (arm or door.) The crowd erupted again at that- some had already cautioned him to be more careful. It is during adventures like these that I wish my Lingala was fluent, fluid, so I could hear the nuances in the details. The amtosphere was clear, the jokes about air conditioning were in full force, but I look forward to the day when I just know what everyone is saying without having to try so hard to understand. 

After the final near catastrophe, they decided to just hoist the door onto the roof. They did not secure the door in anyway which left me super distracted about stability. Surely the recevoir could not hold the door on the roof. If that piece of metal fell off or went flying off it was bound to connect with a motorcycle or a pedestrian. I kept imagining myself drivig along in a car and having a chunk of metal slam into the windshield. There is no anticipating how someone else's decision might affect you. We are truly all connected. 

In the end, the door stayed snugly on the rooftop. I do not know my physics well enough to guess why or determine how weight affects slippage. All I know is Newton's law about objects in motion and applying that to my mental image resulted in a terrifying- and completely avoidable- disaster. I tend err on the side of common knowledge and give more credit than is warranted about their decision making processes. It's the trap of African mysticism- assigning some greater meaning to what was clearly a poor- and dangerous- decision.  The lesson I choose to draw is that we must keep driving. When times are hard and situations present little options, we must keep driving forward- and not just to persevere- but to persevere with laughter and good humor and positivity.