While the kissy noise may not actually be the loudest sound in Africa, it is certainly the most effective. Being able to pucker up and suck in air at just the right pitch and for just the right duration can be the key to unlocking a myriad of services.
I remember being enchanted by all the 'secret codes' that seemed to be shared through sound and movement on my first trip to Africa. I was in the airport, leaving, when I'd dropped my passport. That kissy sound alerted me to my fallen papers and I luckily was able to retrieve them. I felt some inane sense of joy at, not only having been alerted by the noise, but recognising and responding. I felt initiated.
Some 15 years later I find myself ready for the next step. It's all fine and well to know the code- see it pass, understand it's significance, even be alerted by it every now and then- but the boys and I? We aspire to employ it. We've been practicing our kissy noises as we walk down the street. (Take a minute to really imagine that. We are three tall-ish people, one white female usually carrying an extra- adorable little baby and two golden hued mixed males- handsome, if I might add, walking down the dirt streets of our neighborhood kissing air. We're all over the age of 7, except the extra adorable little baby who is the only one not puckered up like a grandma trying to get a goodbye smooch.)
It reminds me of learning to whistle (though I was able to accomplish that in the privacy of our family car.) The kissy noise, however, seems a lot more useful. Especially for hailing taxis, which is our main motivation for practising it. There is one grocery store we go to where taxis are not allowed in the parking area unless they are dropping off- or have been summoned. The main road is across the large lot and down a small hill. Cars driving by might not notice me if I were waving my hands and yelling. Or even if I were waving my hands, yelling and jumping in the air.
The security guards usually hail a taxi for shoppers who come out of the mini-mall/grocery store. They put one hand up and make that kissy noise- voila. A passing taxi hears it, turns his head, notices the hand waving, rounds the turn in the road and drives up the hill to meet us. Needless to say, we're always impressed.
As I mentioned earlier, the same noise is used to get someone's attention- street vendors for instance. If you are passing in a car and want to purchase something from someone who has already gone by just stick your head out and kiss. Or, if someone happens to be on the opposite side of a 4 lane highway, just stick your head out, kiss and they will risk life and limb as they cross the street Frogger style to get you that thing you wanted to buy. Cold drink, single serving bag of water, set of dish towels, newspaper. The kissy noise is universal and therefore all vendors will respond to the same sound. Of course, the downside is you might attract more than 1 vendor, resulting in extra pressure to buy.
The upside is that if the intended does not happen to respond, or your kissy noise is on low that particular day, you will have attracted the attention of several other people on the street who will happily jump in and make their own, stronger kissy noise in order to attract the attention of the person you were trying to lure into your world. And we're not even in Paris. Actually, I've never been to Paris but random people puckering up on the street fits in with all those Parisian cliches about love in the air.
I've been trying to observe closely the shape of the mouth of successful puckerers. The boys and I are missing volume. We pucker without force. Observing closley hasn't revealed any secrets. I wonder if it's one of those lifelong things. Do we have to have been puckering since infancy in order to achieve full effect? Or can we learn to pucker?
For now, our competitions about who can hail a taxi the fastest and from farthest away are limited to hand motions, which, while nowhere near as complex as Kinshasa taxi codes, do involve some finesse. We also award extra points for the subtle or secret taxi hail (successfully getting a taxi using only your pinky finger for example.) But the race is on to become the loudest kisser.
I'm closing on that note because I know you have been holding in your urge to try it out. So go ahead, hop into the bathroom, pucker up to the mirror and find out how loud of a kisser you can be.
DISCLAIMER: I amnot exactly sure that the kissy noise translates the same on all continents so use in public at your own risk. You might find yourself attracting more than a taxi.
