I had been keeping up with my list pretty nicely, my miss/ won't miss list about Abidjan. I was actually surprised that the miss side was getting a little long and half-heartedly wondering how to put it all together. But then a few taxi stories happened, and I lost my wi-fi for a week, which turned out to be blissful, and I almost forgot that I was keeping a list at all.
Then one afternoon, after a long, tiring day when my patience was low and my head pain, leg pain, neck pain, over-all-getting-older body pain was high, the fool showed up and I wondered how I could have forgotten to add him to the list. Definitely a NOT miss.
He always seems to show up when I am at my lowest. We first met the fool when we lived in M'Puto village. He is one of those street wandering people who is out of touch with the world, but just enough in touch to have random conversations. I suspect he has a home somewhere and a family that takes him in each night because he is one step up in cleanliness than the true street person would be. He is left to wander all day and he makes his rounds throughout the neighborhood. People know him and generally just say he is "not right." He's definitely one of those cases that highlights the lack of mental health care in Africa.
He took an interest in the boys and used to follow them around whenever he happened to cross paths with them. It didn't help that Christian, with his soft heart, used to buy him a soda every so often. We saw the fool less after we moved, but he was still a presence in the neighborhood.
I am not sure when it happened, exactly, but at some point he started believing in a mythical relationship between us. Whenever he sees me, he will start following me, talking to himself the whole time. In a few instances, when I'd gotten into a taxi, he stood there talking to me, as though making plans for later. Most of his words are incomprehensible, but occasionally he will come out with a complete phrase, Meet me at Soccoci or We left Deux Plateaux together or some other description of a completely imaginary event. Sometimes he catches the taxi driver off guard just enough that he waits, thinking there is a real conversation happening.
The fool will follow me into a store, trailing along behind me pretending to buy something. He will go wherever I go and if I turn around or stop walking, he will do the same. There is no shaking him. A few nights he followed me close to home. I will not go all the way to my house, because I fear if he knows where I live, I will find him there every morning, waiting outside my door. On those occasions when I'd arrived just to the phone cabine before my house, Ivan, my ever friendly and oh so reliable phone cabin guy, would intervene and get the fool turned around in the direction he'd come from. One talking to was so effective he didn't even follow me the next few times he saw me.
Ivan has left his post, however, and I am a bit defenseless on the route home now. Diallo, our friendly neighborhood boutique guy, tried helping me one night, but he is too soft spoken and gentle to have any effect. That night I sat watching a soccer match at a collection of tables and chairs that had sprung up as an eatery and gathering place in response to Ivan's closure while Diallo tried to convince my stalker to go on his way.
It was late, and while I generally believe, as does most of the neighborhood, that he is harmless, we passed a few dark patches in the road that made me really consider my situation for a minute. It is frustrating to have no power over your circumstances. And I really have no idea which connections have gone wrong for him, or when the others may follow suit, fragile holds on this world snapping as he imagines a slight or insult or even a fit of jealous retribution.
The therapist part of me hates to call him the "fool." It is how the Africans refer to him. But the person part of me gets angry when he appears with his relentless effort. This last time, I'd had a particularly long day, and I'd pulled a muscle in my leg which made walking painful. He was there when I got out of the taxi and my whole body sighed. I just wanted to go home and rest, but it was clear, with his presence, that would not be a quick or easy route. I decided to go to the pharmacy, something I'd been avoiding just because I was dreaming of soft cushions and an overhead fan.
The pharmacy security did not let him in, but he stood outside waiting. I bought my coveted Advil 400 and left. Predictably, he followed me to the main road. I had been wondering if I, myself, had ever made it clear that I didn't want him around. Maybe my silence was sending a message of its own. I took the opportunity to turn and tell him to leave me alone, go on his way, continue his day but just leave me be!
In response, he raised his hand to signal a taxi for me. I was having the kind of day where I decided to just hail a cab and outrun him in search of the refuge my small home offered. And there, on the heels of my anger, he was helping me flee.
While he makes my won't miss list, there is another follower that I will miss. He is one of Mohamed's old friends and a neighborhood kid. There's a fine group of them now, between Mohamed's friends and Ousmane's soccer trainees, that say hello to me as we pass on the dusty streets of our cartier. But this one, I've always had a soft heart for this one. I remember one rainy evening, when the heavy downfall let up for a minute and all of the boys ran for home, but he, he stayed. Mohamed pulled out some old board games and looked for lost pieces so they could amuse themselves 'old school style' since the power was out. His staying had an air of nothing better to do and nowhere better to go.
Since then, I have found him often at my house, long after Mohamed is no longer there. I've found him crashed on the living room floor after a particularly intense morning of soccer training. I imagine his house full of cousins and uncles and noise. I smile to think my cold, hard floor feels like a little bit of peace to him. He's been known to sit outside the front door, resting on an empty potter, using the internet when no one is home. And sometimes, when I come back with groceries to find him there, he grabs a shopping bag and brings it right in, and sits down for a minute.
I see him around the neighborhood, walking fast and always a quick smile on his face. I am told he is intelligent, keeps a fragile bond with the other boys- hanging when it's good but knows enough to leave when it's not. He is always polite, snatching a bag from my hand or offering to carry my packages whenever he sees me walking. "Bonjor tantie," he says, his long legs don't seem to break any stride as he smoothly replaces my hand with his and takes off at a gamble. I met him at my house, wondering how we managed to arrive at the same time, when he was so far ahead of me. He told me he stopped home to report in on some errand he'd been sent on before making his way to my house, package in tow. It all appears like one effortless stride, he is so fast and focused.
My favorite memory is the day I'd been walking with Mbalia, who stopped mid-street to comment on something or notice something in her 2 year old way. T comes along with his light steps and scoops her up, keeps walking, though the way he moves is more like a hover board speeding just inches above the ground. He is sweet talking her all the way to the house. I am sure she has no idea what has just happened.
She has always loved seeing Mohamed's friends, since he left especially, and I am sure she was just reveling in his attention. I opened the outside door and he brought her in, deposited her on the porch and even helped her to take off her shoes and socks before he was speeding out into the night again. Full service delivery, I think.
It makes the miss list because I am always impressed how these boys, and this boy in particular, will drop what he is doing and go out of his way to help. They have banded together before to help me, countless times, really, with carrying the propane tank and even hooking it up (you never know when a certain tank will have a valve that just doesn't turn.) I am impressed by this ingrained sense of duty they have to help an older person. There's no question. You are walking with something, they carry it. You need something, they go to the store to get it. It is the heirarchy in Africa that is helpful, creates an order and structure. They've accepted me into it here and I just might miss that. The neighborhood kids, and this one in particular.
