Its been a long time since I had a good traffic story. The roads just don't run that way here in Abidjan, and maybe I spend a bit less time in a car as well. The roads are so well organized here that I have even caught myself telling a taxi driver to be more cautious (or whatever he interprets from my impassioned- "S'il vous plait!")
Today however I have a bona fide traffic story to share. We were on our way to see Mohamed, who has been in the hospital with a nasty case of malaria that won't seem to go away. The clinic is downtown and costs a billion dollars to get to. The commute, which might be short in my own car, feels long in a cab.
Our driver was swiftly speeding there when a cop on a motorcycle turned his bike to place it in front of us, thereby blocking our path. He got off the bike, came to the window, grabbed the drivers license and then sped off. The taxi followed suit and pulled over where indicated. The driver got out of the vehicle and went to meet the officer. (On our way home a different taxi driver was listening to a series on the radio that was presenting satire on this very arrangement. I hadn't ever really considered the difference between here and Europe or the US, where the police approach the vehicle. Here, you must approach the cop. mal garée ou quoi.)
Some exchange took place and before long we were speeding off again. But then, events took a different turn. The same cop passed us and the driver sped up honking his horn as he passed the police officer. A few seconds later, he pulled off the side of the road and turned to go back to where the officer had stopped.
I should mention, at this point, that we were on a four lane thruway - the type with a concrete divider down the middle, very American, very unable to make a U-turn and be on the right side of the road. When I say he turned around, I mean he turned around into oncoming traffic and sped towards the police officer on the wrong side of the road- with 3 lanes of traffic coming at us. Just like Kinshasa except not really because Kinshasa doesn't even have 4 lane highways (that small stretch on the way to the airport perhaps.) The most you could see coming at you directly is one car in the wrong lane,with maybe a line behind it, but not usually. Usually it's one or two rogue drivers.
In this case, we were the rogue driver and there was a whole battalion of cars coming our way. The story doesn't end there, naturally. We pulled up alongside the cop and the driver got out. He paid 2000franc, received a receipt with official looking stamp and his permit.
I asked him what the infraction was and he said the police officer informed him he should have turned with the light, back at the intersection, and not whatever shortcut he apparently took.
"But it's ok you drove the wrong way down the road just now? He didn't say anything about that?"
"Oh, no," he laughed. "That's nothing, but he, he is a voleur. He wanted 2000 for my permit . Voleur." And he shook his head while I marveled at the logic of it all.
