It was a long day of meeting and talking
with parents. They can be a powerful force, I'm told. it is easy to see why.
First because they are paying for the education and so, feel more directly that
they are entitled to receive a certain quality of service. Second, the teacher
population is transient and I am sure it is trying for the parents to be
orienting new teachers each year, never really knowing what to expect. I can
see with their eyes how it must be difficult.
I can see with my teacher eyes also, however, and that it can be scary to be at the mercy of so many parents who might seem whimisical or blinded by love for their child. I did manage to pass the most scrutinuous inspections and, though I began rather nervously, by the fifth conference become lost in some kind of haze, discussing other people's children as I see them and the policies and procedures of the class as I designed it.
Despite the many perspectives, I'm happy to say that nearly every family remarked how their child was happy to come to school each day. This is worth remembering. The children are having fun.
The conferences themselves were a walk through many lands. Only 3 of the families spoke English as a first language. I conducted one conference entirely in French and another brought her daughter to translate to Hindi. Some of the parents were not entirely happy with the mark of 'satisfactory' and definately not with 'C,' though I tried to explain that they are both avergae and acceptable grades. I can understand dissatisfaction with 'C' more so than 'S.' Parents are expecting the best.
Never one to give out squishy grades, I did have to inform some that their children were simply not working up to potential. Some of the messages were more dire, an emotional need for a period of adjustment, or lack of regard all around. Some were facing what is clearly a child with special needs but certainly cannot be discussed as such. Expectations are high.
I enjoyed talking to the parents for the most part and was able to gently steer the conversation to focus on improvements and hopes for the future. I felt that they liked me (Kinshasa is a small community and it is definately a collective sense of "they") and it gave me a cozy sense of being watched over and inducted into their cultures.
One parent explained it this way, so eloquently: Every night she is there to assist her children with homework, with schoolwork, whatever they need. Because there are 2, she will divide her time between them, watching over both and providing support. When the grades come back, if her daughter has a "C" then she is feeling perhaps she did not help enough. She will even question, "Did I give too much time to the other child?" She tells me she will feel guilty, as if she is failing her child by not helping where needed.
This was a quite an eye opening perspective. I realized I had been very clear with my group of fifth graders about the expectations. I had even 'cancelled' classes at times to review the importance of a response or assignment. But perhaps this message had not been transferred adequately to the parents. Suddenly I felt as if the burden is not mine alone but I have many helpers. These children will succeed.
Of course there are some that simply do not really see their whole child. I think, as a parent, it is not always possible. But there are beautiful people here. Everyone seemed to have such grace and a pleasant appearance. I do enjoy this job.
I cannot begin to write about the most bizarre conference. Just know that the conversation, occurring in French, had something to do with vomiting over bowel movements (ask me how this relates and I surely cannot explain) and brilliance, somehow the two are connected? Unfortunately, I am pretty certain I cannot attribute this to a translation error. Nope, she said it. Ka-ka. Several times. That is when the mist turned into a heavy fog and I knew I stepped over..........
