what was most surprising? what did you see that you expected to see? what was the best? the worst?-
with reflection, with thoroughness and detail, with answers that sounded surprisingly like me.
She didn't ask me a million questions, but I'm answering them anyway. I was surprised to find she was taller than me. Surprised by the way this made me feel -too old and too young at the same time.
I was delighted by her beauty, which I expected, but surprised by her grace and confidence. I was awed at her determination to just a hop a plane and fly on over to Africa to see us, a week before her graduation, with a million things strolling through her mind. She put everything on hold, braved a pilot's strike and dedicated a week to us.
It was a week that left me thirsty for more and yet strangely satisfied. We prioritized and planned our moments, making sure to get in all the things we miss doing together. We painted and baked and took market trips. We had clothes made- even a graduation dress in that fabric that is all the (African?) rage. We couldn't squeeze four missing years into that too small, just right week, but surely we tried.
My favorite Mohamed moments were watching them play soccer in the sand- yup, she jumped down there and joined the guys on the beach. It was enough to make a few passersby stop, and take it in, this white girl playing African soccer. I love the video she showed me of Mohamed, telling me how good it was and narrating the important parts so I could really understand. I love the party we made in his hospital room, eating lasagna and wearing birthday hats.
My favorite Nabih moments were making pottery together and flying on the swings at Paradisia. She's always had patience for Nabih and something of a calming effect. He managed a few disappointments with much more decorum than usual. They are bakers, those two, and we compared recipes and swapped treats- he a lemon tart and she cocoa brownies. He even made his signature quesadilla for her- sibling exchange at its finest.
My favorite Mbalia moments were teaching her to take a 'selfie' and dancing circles on an overtired night. I love the way Mbalia jumped right into her arms as soon as we came through the gate, sisters from the very first.
And the me moments? Going to the marketplace and being mistaken for sisters, for twins even. Choosing fabric and feeling that satisfying thrill of having clothes custom made. I loved baking together and painting together. Exercising and laughing together. I loved laying around on a rainy afternoon and waking her up and saying goodnight. I loved just being in the very same house. Together.
My favorite just her moments- Those soccer shoes she brought, all worn apart and taped up at the toe-looking like a ballerina's practice flat and showing all the signs of love for the game. Her perfect eye for snapshots from a taxi window and her try anything spirit. Everything about her filled me with love and awe and admiration. I admit to being a little dumbstruck, lovesick, marveling with delight. But then, she's always done that to me. Her patient nature, open, accepting, curious, maturity without judgement- it's all come together in such a genuine, graceful way.
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| To soccer, with love |
There isn't a worst, beyond the obvious- it was such a perfect time. But as it has passed, I wonder, did I hug her enough? Did I kiss her and call her sweet names and make her feel a mother's love? We talked a lot but there is much we didn't get to say. And there never seems to be enough time, or the right time, to explain, how hard its been, how long and lonely, how deep and wondering, how nothing is ever quite complete when there is so much distance, how some holes just remain.
But I am not stuck there. Instead I am filled with her inspiration for art, her excitement at moving on to the next full phase in life and the joy in knowing this intelligent, confident, beautiful woman. I feel honored and privileged that we worked together on decorations for her dorm- a painting of encouraging words filled with all the images of her dreams and passions. I am filled with positive thoughts for the future, looking forward to hearing about her college tales and planning our next adventure. I am filled with courage in a way that I simply wasn't before. Congratulations to my love, my sweetness!
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| Super pleased she choose the best African wish to adorn her graduation cap. |
