I need to write about the last few days while we are here. I think once we are a thousand miles away, this time will seem a thousand days away. It has been very intense. I am feeling crabby and irritable and it is showing. Even escapes to the park do little to dampen the fires that spring between us, myself and the children, the children amongst themselves. I would almost be content to pass my days reading, and actually have read several interesting novels. But I feel I should be doing something. I'm just not sure what it is.
The children seem more physical lately, and fighting incessantly. Perhaps I am just more sensitive to the insults. Or maybe it is easier to say goodbye when you are mad, as was pointed out by an observant someone.
Last night we went to the fair and had a chance to truly enjoy ourselves. For awhile, the fighting subsided and the children were running hand in hand from one thrilling ride to the next. I wondered only briefly at our strange customs of building these metal machines whose only purpose is to scare and entertain. Because our lives are not scary enough? We do not live with daily fear of sickness or death. We live in pursuit of fun and happiness. For once, I was not feeling guilt about this but enjoying the luxury for what it was. A simple time with all of us together. A perfectly fine way to say farewell....for now.
