It must have been somewhere around election season when we spent lots of time locked down on campus. The American embassy instituted all kinds of curfews and travel restrictions so of course we had to follow suite. In the course of a conversation about where I needed to go and how I was getting there, she mentioned something like, "You should take a driver. It's just not safe. You look vulnerable in a car alone."
And I really stopped to ponder. For days. Really? I never felt vulnerable. Like many, I've become lulled by the sense when traveling around the neighborhood that I am home. And in my home, people know me, they accept me (or at the very least they tolerate me) and I am mostly safe. As safe as I would be on a NYC street in any case, or any large city in the world. So I had to pause and really reflect. I walk everywhere, I drive even farther and I generally feel like I am capable of handling my own. But I knew- with those words weighing heavily on me- that it wasn't really true. I had to recognize the sad reality- I am a thirty-something woman with images of my teenage self still looming large in my mind. I probably couldn't take anyone down anymore.
So I embarked on a two part journey to find my stronger, fiercer self. And not just physically. As a new mother of four in a world where that doesn't seem to count for much (possible post on this coming) I realized I was going to need some inner strength to get through the rest of this year.
First stop: Mel's kickboxing class. There are many reasons why I love Mel. And the first is because she's fierce. An excellent role model. She used to be a professional boxer and it shows.
Mel gives 100% at every class and she expects us to do the same. It's easy to be inspired by her. She spends the whole class shouting out encouragement. "Let's go team. We can do this." And inevitably, a quarter of the way through the class, her energy ratchets up a notch as she screams out, "Moooore!"
After years on the African dance circuit, where every class seems to be a competition in how well you can shake shake or shimmy, hearing that we're in this as a team is refreshing. It may be old skool to some but I've never really been in a group of women this way. Just when I am melting into the floor, feeling like I can't possibly handle another painful ab crunch, I hear an encouraging, "You can do it...come on," from one of the other participants. She'd seen me fading, was on the edge herself and somehow we both found the courage to continue.
Mel has a softer side too. She bakes us muffins (ok- they're protein muffins filled with rejuvenating energy and delicious peanut butter frosting---oh but what an inspiration to get through class for a savory bite!) She's a beautiful mother that exudes a gentle nurturing and caring for her children (think mama lioness) and she never let's us down. She has a way of noticing everything that's going on- from the time I was holding back tears in class after I'd heard about the death of a friend ("You ok?" she mouthed, quietly questioning from the front of the room- never breaking stride) to someone who was favoring a foot. "Ok, what's going on with the leg?" I heard her say as she marched over to one of the women after our warm up. Yup, she's a professional, with a keen eye and a warm heart. Of course, after I view these photos of her with her group in Canada I kind of get the feeling she might think we're a bunch of wimps.
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| Mel and her Canada crew |
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| We do these moves too.....just not sure we look like that |
But like any good teacher, Mel meets us where we're at. And while there are always options, she never lets us think that we can't do the full workout. We're in it together and we strive to be the best. And I've seen results. Or rather, my kids have seen the results. One tired night as I rested on the couch, Nabih came over to rub my arms. "Wow, mom, your muscles are really growing," he exclaimed. If a seven year old sees it, it must be true. And the other night as I was walking home in the dark, followed and hit upon by a surprising number of male pedestrians, I realized I had moves going through my mind. Things I could do if I had to. Not in a panicky sort of way, but just lingering there in the back of my mind in an empowering sort of way. And that's really why I love Mel. I feel embraced by a group of women and empowered to be all the parts that make up exactly who I am. Thanks Mel!
