My writing has become of questionable quality- it seems fair to acknowledge. I could chalk it up to the early, intense harmattan which has blown into Abidjan and covered everything with its slow moving haze. But I know it is simply because I have gotten out of the habit. And since arriving in Ivory Coast, I spend too much time alone with my thoughts. Surely good conversations- and more importantly- meaningful experiences- can be found but I haven't spent a lot of effort searching.
I am still ruminating on my last thoughts about happiness- suspecting that using it as a measure of job satisfaction is probably more closely correlated to those who feel they have a higher degree of choice. While my choices appear to be opening up in the near future, I still tend to count myself among the "waiters" as the time is not quite right for a bunch of upheaval or future planning. I am just trying to deal with my present.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting about the process of immigration and when exactly the tables turn from immigrant to resident to citizen. Although the time for processing papers differs by country, I am more intrigued by the internal process. A friend posted this article about assimilation in Belgium and alluded to a conversation she'd had with friends. It is something I've spent a lot of time examining, though without benefit of friendly conversation.
It seems the basic tenets of the article can be true of most any place that has a dominant physical characteristic- something easily identifiable by sight. China is one example. It is hard to imagine a blond haired, blue-eyed somebody claiming they are Chinese and having the general population accept that without further inquiry. The same could be said for countries in Africa. Though I might live here for 20 years, I will never be able to claim to someone that I am African. Even Mbalia, born here and possibly growing up all of her life here, will always be asked about the "other" part of her heritage and identified as non-African because of it.
Presumably the difference is that in European countries- and America- the host country has more benefits to offer that immigrants are not always able to take full advantage of- discrimination based on their "other" status while in African countries, the "other" status could more likely lead to "positive discrimination" (or the ability to secure privileges more easily based on being non- African.)
Last year, the boys attended Ivorian schools and had a chance to experience a bit of a flip side to this. While they were singled out as being "other," I'm not sure there were too many privileges that came with it.
In either case, or in all cases, I start to wonder if there isn't a basic human tendency in all of this- the idea of using appearance to create a sense of community or tribe. In Ivory Coast, you can still see remnants of this in facial markings that were used to identify tribal affiliations. Upon sight you could be marked as friend or foe based simply on where you- your parents- came from.
Of course, the idea is that as an evolved species, we should be able to put physical markers of human difference aside and concentrate on inner connections. I get a sense of this when I stop converting money, or when I feel a sense of obligation about the customary kiss hello (or when I am about to meet an American and think to myself, this time I need to handshake) or when I "get" the humor of social and political cartoons - and even more so when I find they apply to me- or any of the other small but significant signs that show themselves in daily routine and interaction.
The adopted culture has become first response and when confronted with something from my home country, it occasionally sounds odd to me or slightly familiar but no longer useful. So I must assume that after 7 years, I am on my way to assimilation. The question remains how can I mark that in my appearance so everyone will know (and stop asking me where I am from, you know, originally?)
One solution is simply to wait for a time when appearance is less likely to be so drastically different. This article supplies some of the science behind the idea, while this one shares a few images. The future certainly does look beautiful- reminding me of a quote from a grandma I used to know, commenting on her mixed hued grandkids. "The golden children....they are the new generation."
I can't follow this logic through to a debate of whether that will ultimately heal racism or intensify it (being all too able to imagine a minority of white skinned, blue eyed, light haired dictators in control of the masses, Orwellian style) but surely it will allow us to confront the other topics that continue to divide- class, wealth, occupation...or any of the other subjects we concentrate on when we can no longer ask....where are you from?
