I guess this is always the beginning, right on the edge of many endings. Being a sensible Taurus I embrace and abhor change. I'm trying to find the signs of wisdom to prevent future angst. I want to have foresight rather than hindsight. I'm trying not to be so cliche; nothing is more disappointing to me than to suffer through my losses and muddle through my confusions only to find its all so ordinary and....well, cliche. I guess this is supposed to provide a bit of comfort, in the end I just feel foolish. Aren't we supposed to learn from those before us?
What brings me here, to the place of endings and beginnings? A grand sense that the world is ending. I actually had to check with 2 of my friends to be sure, 'It's not really ending is it? The world, I mean." They've assured me its not but I'm less than certain I believe them. I've suspected for quite some time now. There is entirely too much suffering going on in the world.
Personally, I can count myself among the lucky, the fortunate. I have the basics, most of the time. And if I haven't, I do have the capability to hang on until my finances are righted, if only temporary again.
Its hard to remember the big ideas when you're caught up in the small details of a life. My marriage is giving all the clear signs of being over. My job is giving all the clear signs of requiring change. And it seems the best time to pursue my African dream. There has never been a time when Africa didn't reach inside and speak to me, sweep me away with lightly whispered secrets. In one week I will know if all these forces of change haven't conspired for some greater reason- the realization of a dream. Of course it will take a bit longer to find out if the promises of this new lover hold any more strength and truth than those of past.
