Showing posts with label street children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label street children. Show all posts

14.1.18

Bana na congo



Their clothes are too big
Or too small
Too bright
Too new or too old
They blend in with their background
Commit actions that make them stand out
Their necks are too long
Arms too skinny
With legs that can barely hold them
upright
They sink into despair
Strike poses of defiance
Hold on to a tender love for each other
That explodes into violence
They embrace the night
Sleep by day
Wander in a perpetual now
Clinging to each moment
No future, no past
Lost to their history
Our history
has no place for
this new generation



31.7.16

call of kinshasa

My artist friends (and mere acquaintances) from DRC have been calling me. They are looking for residencies and invitations for work in Abidjan, "meme just pour la fete de decembre." One of them finally clearly said he was looking to escape the turmoil of the elections.

Even as I still dream of (returning to) Kinshasa, they are looking to leave. The photos of recent events speak to their fear.

This photo is already being called "historic" Supporters of the opposition assemble
Or maybe it is this photo, which I find incredibly shocking. Kinshasa is not the US (or Paris, despite the delusions of Bandal) and calling out your president like this just doesn't happen. Or, at least it didn't.

People are tired, it's clear and elections or not, something is going to happen come November.
I have another friend who has fled under threat of arrest and I am sure he is watching the events from afar with un coeur brise. It can't be easy for him to be so physically distant from what  has been his passion for years.

So I am here, wondering how to get back, wondering if I really want to get back and thinking of all those who haven't a choice in leaving or staying.

My summer has been full of (work) and trying to determine my future path. Just when I think I have my goals set, someone shares this video with me and I know where I am going.



It is not just the saga of the street kids, but the emerging street families that presents the most concern. I'm praying on this one. While the country deals with elections and presidential glissement, there is a section of the population that will remain forgotten. Unfortunately it's the section that is generally thought of as the future.

12.6.14

the girl in the road- a sequel of sorts

In the midst of packing, as the days dwindle down, I am also trying to get in my last goodbyes. Of course, the internet makes a goodbye so much easier, less permanent. I remember back to 2001, my first trip to Guinea. Leaving people I'd met then seemed full of uncertainty. Telephones are lost, numbers changed.   Even though I managed to maintain email correspondence with some it always felt like they were on the edge of disappearing. And once gone, finding them again an impossibility.

This time around however it is so much more possible to remain in contact with friends, even if just on the fringes of facebook. As I get my last conversations in I feel hopeful- for return visits to Kin, for future collaborations, and for staying in touch.

After Aicha came to help me dismantle and roll up my paintings, I had just one more friend to seek out. I'd saved a painting for him- for the new office he'd told me they'd found- and I was anxious as well to ask some questions about the state of the state. I still had the boy in the road on my mind and I also wanted to know which government minister would be in charge of such things (realizing of course the problem has implications far beyond a government program. But you have to start somewhere, right?)

Ben stopped by on Wednesday afternoon and we launched easily into one of our long discussions. I'd almost forgotten how good it feels to talk with him. He is intelligent and thoughtful and full of direction.  And very hard to read. All qualities that have left me feeling, at various times, hopeful, inspired and woefully inadequate.  Stagnant and action-less.

But on this day I felt hopeful. I remarked on the ways he'd grown, more confident, more connected and more sure of his purpose. He updated me on the progress of his organization and how he was ready to step aside in November- hold elections for a new leader. As a founding member he'd been with the group since its inception and had worked hard to help it grow to this point. He told me more about the various projects they'd begun and the areas of social development they were working on.

One of the newer projects involved 4 orphanages around the city. They were working to provide regular food donations, tutoring in French and basic studies to get the kids school ready and computers with internet access- and classes to learn. They'd helped the kids to organize themselves into a form of government, the older ones being responsible for the younger. Representatives responsible for speaking out and standing up for the rest. They'd given out cell phones to those most in charge so they could connect with peers in the other orphanages-form some sort of social support network. Rely on each other as they grew.

He told me also of some of the complications that arose with adoption, which had been one of the results of the organization's fundraising and awareness efforts. Increased adoptions = increased numbers of Congolese children leaving the country. For many there appears to be a fine line between the costs of adoption and simply selling children. The organization became aware of children being stolen from the village areas and brought into the city to be sold. It can be hard to see the difference, I think, from the midst of poverty and corruption.  There had been several news items in the last few months alluding to similar issues. This one read a bit differently in the newspapers here. The on-line article makes her sound guilty of something while the printed reports suggested a lot more legality in the process and a lot less transparency by the courts. Apparently the girl had been legally adopted for years and no one was quite sure where the outrage and questions were suddenly coming from. Lack of proper pay-offs it was surmised. There is no end to the frustrations and delays involved with adopting- Italy even sent a plane  to retrieve children adopted by Italian parents. In the end, both Ben and I recognized a myriad of complications involved with adoptions as a main objective. He stated that the goal of his group was to be able to provide children with the same advantages that other Congolese children have- hence the concentration on food, education and access to a support network.

While Ben's group focuses on children in orphanages, I began to steer the conversation towards the plight of street children. Another complex and challenging issue. Orphanages are places where the kids live. Street children, on the other hand, often frequent day centers for a meal or a reprieve but they return to the streets- sometimes preferring the freedom and lack of rules that life offers. After years on their own, structure can be hard to handle. Trust is probably another issue they grapple with. And for many, I imagine though have never confirmed, being thrust back into the church - as orphanages and day centers are often beneficiaries of church charity groups and have members come in to preach to kids- a confusing and potentially terrifying experience. Especially for those whose families have tossed them out on advice from pastors or who have themselves been victims of abuses performed in the name of exorcism.  Any intervention must include a component on family education and consequences for  pastors. The research available on this seems inexhaustible. Every major NGO has conducted a study and written a report from UNICEF to Save the Children to Human Rights Watch. While everyone seems to recognize the problems and identify steps towards solutions, the process is agonizingly slow. And much too late for many of the kids already on the street. Like the boy I saw in the road.

I shared my story with Ben - the first time I'd actually put spoken words to it. I shared my shame and indecision and regret. " Was it over by the military camp? By Avenue 24 November?" he asked me shortly after I began.  "No. No it was out by Ndjili, " I told him.

And then he shared his own story. Of a girl in the road that very same morning. Early on Sunday he'd received a call. Ben has become something of a go-to guy for citizens around the city. When they don't know what to do, they call him. A woman had called around 6 in the morning to say there was a child in the street. Ben arrived shortly after and found that she was dead. Also a victim of being hit in the night by a car. He took some photos, arranged some branches and leaves in the road- the Congolese version of flares or orange cones- to alert travelers to proceed with caution and called someone from the Red Cross. Ahhh.....so there are the missing steps. The things I could have done for the boy I saw in the road, 40 km away and an hour earlier.

When the Red Cross guy showed up the police wouldn't let him remove the body. They insisted on having a form from some official department or other. "It's Sunday," Ben reasoned. "No one is open today. Are you going to leave her here until Monday?" In the end, they accepted formal Red Cross identification and let the man take the girl away. A day or so later Ben received another call requesting payment for the hospital and morgue services. He'd been working with his group to arrange a funeral, had prepared some words and a photo of the girl. But the payment and the burial he felt were the responsibility of the state.

He was so matter of fact and so competent in his handling of the entire affaire. I tried to imagine looking at a dead child in the street and taking pictures. Arranging branches. Checking a pulse. I want to be the person who could take charge in such a way. But I am not there yet. At least now I have a better idea about what to do next time. Ben assured me my intentions were what counted. I tried to grab onto that feeble statement- it's written in all the Good Books that God or Allah or Jehovah sees inside our hearts and minds and those are the ideas that count. But the child didn't really need intentions. He needed action. He deserved a funeral just as the girl in the road is receiving. An acknowledgement of a life lived, however short, however difficult and filled with suffering it might have been.

As our talk turned to civic education and the related painting I wanted to present, I realized how much I am still learning about how to live in Africa, how to be a better person, and how to take real, meaningful action. Several people have accused me of being brave in the last month or so. I don't think I am really there yet, but I certainly aspire to be there. Soon.


2.9.12

Finding Anna

Saturdays are full of trying to find all 6 of the Orper centers. I feel dangerously close to a Where's Waldo maze. I have the directions to two of them well memorized and am working on the rest. It requires me contacting Theo and trying to arrange a meeting with him or someone else to show me the way. The previous Saturday no one was available and so I decided to go back to the day center for girls and work with them. It was a very different feel from the first visit.

There were quite a few less girls present and the ones who were there were exhausted. They lifted themselves slowly from the benches where they had been sprawled out in a light slumber. They shuffled up to the school room and sat down. We made self portraits and I tried to encourage them to be fanciful. Draw yourself however you like, add wings, blue hair, etc. The interpreter left shortly after we began drawing and I relied on Christelle to help me understand some of the younger girls. They needed encouragement to add missing arms, legs, noses. Some struggled with heads and necks.  Their feelings of  powerlessness were evident in all that the figures lacked. I asked them to put their figures in an environment after they finished. While some girls added houses or chickens, or even other people creating a small family, many just wrote the name of a market they like to frequent or the neighborhood where they spend their time. 

The older girls finished in about an hour and wanted to return downstairs to fixing their hair and napping. This pattern was quickly taken up by the others so we had a sharing session where each girl presented their work and then retreated. Three girls were left, three who really enjoyed drawing and asked for paper after paper. Eventually they tired of drawing large fish and taught me secret handshakes and clapping games. I had fun with them but was affected by the tiredness that permeated the center. I missed little Anna and Jolie. No one could tell me where they were, and no one seemed to have the energy to care.

Theo contacted me first the following Saturday and arranged for me to meet someone at the girls' day center who would then accompany me to the other center for girls- where they live. Maison Irebu- the day center for girls- was again nearly empty. The kids who were there were all sleeping. I grew more and more confused about the purpose of the center. What is the reasoning behind being a mere day center and not offering full living services? I had been deeply disturbed by the absence of Anna and wondered how she could have been let to leave...how could any of them be let to wander outside, onto the streets?

IN the courtyard I was warmly greeted by Mama Cluadine. She directed me to an older gentleman sitting by the office. He was going to bring me to Chez Mama Suzanne, home for girls. "I make the soap for the center," he told me as we drove. Once we approached the blue walls, I remembered visiting the place on the rounds I had taken with Theo during my introduction. The children had been away on a vacation of sorts, getting fresh air on a retreat.

When the doors were opened and I drove in, I saw a dark blue minivan and a small group of well dressed people. They appeared to be touring the center and I soon found out they were parishioners from the church that founded the center. The kids had been gathered in the covered cement area reserved for large group gatherings. Blue plastic chairs had been placed in a circle and they waited patiently for the visitors to return.

I sat in the small office looking out onto the courtyard, waiting for the Mama in charge of the center to finish with her unexpected guests and make arrangements with me. Another woman sat with me and we made small talk about my program and discussed how the other centers were doing. It soon became apparent that guests intended on speaking to the girls, praying together and handing out food. After listening for a bit to the songs and the sermons, I decided it would be better to return next week. They had begun to call girls to the middle of the circle - for what purpose I wasn't entirely sure. I suddenly found everything very odd, realizing that the story for many street children began with condemnation by the church. I wondered how they felt about being preached to and given charity by yet another institution spouting words of love and obedience to Jesus.I wondered if it all wasn't a confusing mess to them.  Just as I was looking around at their faces, I spotted her. Anna sitting snug in between two older girls. To be sure, I asked the older mama who had joined us if she knew the young girl's name. "Little Anna?" she asked me. Yes!

Happiness covered my face. I clapped and thanked God, thanked them and felt such relief and joy to know they had transferred her over here and she was no longer lost on the streets. It was only 12:00 when I left but I already knew that finding Anna meant my Saturday could only be a day of success and good feelings.       

18.8.12

Anna & Jolie

I continue to reflect on the days I spent with the girls. I am still thinking about them, 2 in particular but really the children as a group. I found myself locked in twice, once while we were still playing and someone had gone off to the market. The second time both of the workers had returned and so I am not sure exactly how it is we found ourselves locked in. I was ready to leave and calls for the key produced nothing. I sat down next to the girls who were helping carry my stuff to the car and we sang and danced and played drums on the containers. We talked and laughed and I learned a lot of Lingala in those 20 minutes.

Jolie is an older girl, somewhere between 11-14 I would guess, and has the most French. She served as my translator for the most part on Sunday when there was no one else around. With shaven hair and an erect posture she exuded a certain grace and patience. Kindness. Jolie is intelligent and thoughtful, the kind of girl you would be proud to call your daughter.  Anna is a little cutie that appears about 4 but is probably actually closer to 6. She is spunky and fierce and I saw her devilishly tearing around a corner, fleeing one of the girls she had irritated in some way. The pesky little sister.

The problem for me is that, for the most part, these children aren't orphans. Many of them have homes and families, siblings, aunts and uncles, parents. And I can't help but look at Anna and wonder how it is her mother, her father, her aunties---someone---isn't thinking of her, wondering where she is and losing sleep over her absence in the house.

This Ramadan has been especially difficult for me as I've encountered something like a crisis of faith. I have been struggling to put together the pieces that make sense to me and figure out exactly what I can believe in, without doubt. Or maybe doubt is a constant part of having faith. But this struggle only further serves to create a distance between me and families like those of Anna. Often the families have been told by their church that the child is a sorcerer and I just can't imagine having that much faith in something. I can't imagine giving my life over to anyone who would tell me to put my child out. And I don't understand how sleep comes at night.

But I am learning that sometimes understanding is not the path. The folks at ORPER have a program based on reintegration. They work to move kids from the day centers to the home centers and back to their families. It is an arduous process. I don't know how many of the children who are returned end up back on the streets. As always, I land in the middle when trying to determine what is the best placement for kids like these. The cynical part of me believes someone who could be convinced to throw their child away once could be convinced to do it again. The optimist in me believes perhaps there are families out there grateful to have been given a second chance and have their eyes opened to the treasure they have. But I haven't stopped thinking about Anna since I met her three weeks ago. And I know where she is. Most likely her family remains in the dark. They just turned their backs and walked away..... Ramadan mubarak  but it's not really a happy eid. I am struggling with this....

20.5.11

what could be more terrifying?

I wrote this back in early April. Perhaps, being too close at the time, I couldn't post. But now, in the interest of honesty and with some reflection, thought it might be ok to share.

What could be more terrifying
Than looking into his face
His childish face
At my window
Begging me for something
Anything to ease the hunger
He carries with him everywhere

But I do look
I look deep into his eyes
As his hand holds onto my door
His seven year old hand
I look deep into his eyes
And see someone who is anything
But a child

And I look across the street at the ground
That ground
Where he will most likely pass the night
It is deep, rich earth
Moist and saturated with the rains
Perhaps the concrete will be more
Inviting tonight
Cradling his small bones
With her rocks and crevices

I look down at his feet
Those feet
Bare and dusty from his travels
What could be more terrifying
than looking into his face
Deep into his eyes
And seeing
That he is just a child
My child, any child
Out there on the street
I looked deep into his eyes
And I drove by
What could be more terrifying
Than who I have become?


What has been so disturbing to me are the constant articles about child sorcery. It is a common problem in Kinshasa that children are thrown out of their homes after being accused of sorcery or witchcraft. Many are beaten or taken to churches to undergo rituals of exorcism. There are lists of random “signs” of being possessed and they range from leaving a bedroom door open at night to sneezing too often. Some children report their mother simply said, “You eat too much.” 

And so this evening as I sat in the miles of traffic and was approached by the endless beggars of the road, I made myself really look at the children outside my door. One in particular, so young, I looked deep into his eyes searching for the thing that could allow a mother to throw her child out. This looking deep was not easy. I wanted to open my door, invite him in and take him home.  But I can’t save them all. When the traffic comes to a standstill, the streets literally fill up with handicapped, homeless, hungry humans.   

It is no longer faces on a tv commercial. It is no longer something happening a continent away. It’s here, outside my door. I can roll my window down and touch the hand of a lonely, starving child. I can’t stop the tears from welling up because this boy is alone and my two children are in the back munching chips and feeling loved.  I cry all the way home through stalled traffic and honking horns. I cry as I make dinner and correct my students’ papers. I don’t want to be this person that drives away from a seven year old on the street. I stop myself from going back and I make up crazy plans and wonder if they are crazy after all. I can’t continue to live like this, with myself. I can’t continue to drive by a child. I wonder if I can rent a house. I wonder if helping five children would make it any easier. Would it satisfy me? Would I feel like it’s enough? I wonder how I can truly make it happen and if I have the courage. Mostly I wonder what on earth has happened to us humans to make this our reality.

As I read- most recently Malalai Joya- which reminds me remarkably of Benazair Bhutto- I have this perspective of looking down from above. It is what I imagine God must see looking out over us humans. It is deeply disturbing, something gone horribly wrong. It is century after century of war and violence, slavery, brutality, humans hurting humans. There are small pockets fighting for change, looking for the brighter path. But so much of it is covered in the blood and misery that we have brought to each other. It is completely overwhelming to me.