I've been working with my assistant for about 5 years. We have that close and sometimes not so close relationship that is easy to have with Congolese. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing where I stand with him. What does he think of me? While it could be argued that it doesn't so much matter as long as we can work together well, it is something I wonder. I often present startling information about his country, and I want to be sure I am doing it with respect. I try to check in with him often.
When his wife was pregnant with their fourth child- and I didn't find out until after she'd given birth- I felt kind of .....estranged. What?! You never told me you were expecting?! I found out when asking him about plans for the December vacation. A kind of nonchalant, well I'm going to be spending time with my new baby.
On the other hand, we've shared some intimate details about growing up and what life was/is like for Congolese. He often gives me that, very indirect, feedback about my teaching style and the experiences I've planned for the students (like the time the President's wife came to our production of Minerals in the Congo and I just had to get his advice on what how she might have interpreted it.)
This afternoon we were talking about the huge number of kids who hadn't prepared their homework. Since I've been teaching just literacy and social studies to 4th and 5th graders, I can compare how they do for the their math/science teacher- a male, with a completely different approach. Apparently more successful in getting homework completed. It led to a discussion about his being able to witness a variety of teaching styles and how beneficial it could be. I had a similar experience when I was teaching in Florida as a pull out/push in special education teacher. I got to spend some time in a variety of classrooms with different age levels and teaching styles. I wondered if he found it as interesting as I did. Here's what he said:
"When I was young I dreamed of a class where I could express myself and share my ideas. I had to wait all this time until I came here. I finally found it. "
He went on to say, "It's kind of like Pepsi and Coke. When Pepsi came around, I really liked it. I preferred it in fact. But Coke prevailed. I think there were a lot of people who liked Pepsi, but ....it goes that way sometimes. And then you don't really appreciate it until it is gone. Or until you have grown."
So, I guess I am Pepsi. A bit easier on the taste buds but just not strong enough to stake my claim. It suits me. If I have to drink soda, I prefer Pepsi too. Another lesson in that around-the-way talk that seems to say so much more than my American directness.
